Sexual Abuse and Abortion: Finding Healing in the Aftermath

There are many definitions of sexual assault; some broad and some narrow. This results in problems in reporting, both over reporting and under reporting. In their book, Rid of My Disgrace: Hope and Healing for Victims of Sexual Assault, Justin and Lindsey Holcomb define sexual assault as, “any type of sexual behavior or contact where consent is not freely given or obtained and is accomplished through force, intimidation, violence, coercion, manipulation, threat, deception, or abuse of authority.” The authors go on to say that, “This definition . . . expands the spectrum of actions to be considered sexual assault.”

This expanded definition helps victims who need to have a clear understanding of what exactly sexual assault is. Understanding helps survivors to know several things:

• They are not alone
• If they have experienced sexual assault, it is a crime.
• They are not responsible for their assault
• There are services available that cater to their needs

Statistics on sexual assault are disturbingly high. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) reports, “Over half of women and almost 1 in 3 men have experienced sexual violence involving physical contact during their lifetimes.”

As you can see, sexual abuse is sadly a common experience, and one that cuts to the very being of a person. That is a difficult thing for us to think about, because behind the statistics are people. The reality is that more than likely someone you love has suffered from sexual assault. Perhaps you personally know the pain that comes from the violation of your will and body.

What does it look like to live in the aftermath of such a horrible experience? For many, their lives are riddled with emotional, psychological, and/or physiological effects. Rid of my Disgrace offers an expansive list of effects, some are listed below,

Shame, self-blame, guilt, anxiety, stress, anger, confusion, sexualized behaviors, loss of sex drive, interpersonal problems, denial, irritability, depression, social withdrawal, numbing/apathy, feelings of isolation and alienation, reduced ability to express emotions, nightmares, flashbacks, physical symptoms, difficultly concentrating, negative self-image, OCD, panic attacks, confusion of sex with love, inability to judge the trustworthiness of others, self harm, suicidal ideation, hypervigilance, insomnia, promiscuity, eating problems or disorders, impaired memory, substance abuse, or a distorted view of God.

Many of the effects of sexual abuse, (such as numbing, lack of judgment, and promiscuity) can increase a woman’s vulnerability towards engaging in risky behaviors. Pregnancy Resource Centers, such as AbbaCare, provide services to many pregnant clients who are sexual abuse survivors and are seeking an abortion or have had an abortion in their past. Staff at these centers will walk alongside these women and provide non-judgmental education in a caring manner while listening to each woman’s story.

Healing from abuse is a long journey. AbbaCare helps facilitate healing from abortion through our Past Abortion Care and Encouragement (PACE) program, which is available to both post-abortive women and their partners. It is a recovery group for those seeking help and healing related to past abortion and is offered free of charge in a safe, confidential, judgment-free environment.

If you have been sexually assaulted:

• Report if possible. The statute of limitations varies by state, some states offer extensions for childhood sexual abuse. More information can be found here.
• Join our PACE program. AbbaCare offers the study Finding You: Recovering Your Identity After Sexual Trauma. Contact Chriswithpace@gmail.com or call 540-665-9660 to participate in the next group.
• Seek counseling. There are secular and both Christian professional and lay church counselors in the area as well as online. 
• Read a book. If talking to someone right now seems like it would be too much, consider reading one of the listed texts below:
• Treasure in the Ashes: Our Journey Home from the Ruins of Sexual Abuse, by Sue Nicewander and Maria Brookins 
• In the Aftermath: Past the Pain of Childhood Sexual Abuse, by Pamela Gannon and Bevery Moore 
• Rid of My Disgrace: Hope and Healing for Victims of Sexual Assault, by Justin S. and Lindsey A. Holcomb

AbbaCare is a nonprofit Pregnancy Resource Center currently serving in the Winchester, VA and Martinsburg, WV areas. Please contact us to schedule a free and confidential consultation appointment today.