Setting Boundaries for Healthy Relationships
Setting Boundaries for Healthy Relationships. Personal boundaries are limits and rules we set for ourselves. Why? Because for a relationship to be healthy, both parties need to feel safe. It’s important to be able to say “no”, for instance, respectfully, but without ambiguity. That means knowing ahead of time where you draw the line. This doesn’t mean you can’t compromise. In fact, once you set boundaries, you will be far more comfortable opening yourself up to intimacy and closeness, as well as more difficult conversations that come as part of any healthy relationship.
Personal boundaries may be physical, intellectual, emotional, sexual, and include materials and time.
Healthy physical boundaries include an awareness of what is appropriate, and what is not appropriate in various settings and different types of relationships.
Healthy intellectual boundaries include respect for each other’s ideas and an awareness of appropriate discussions.
Healthy emotional boundaries include limitations on when to share, and when not to share, personal information. Gradually share personal information during the development of a relationship, as opposed to revealing everything on the first date!
Healthy sexual boundaries involve mutual understanding and respect of limitations and desires related to intimacy and sexual activity.
Healthy material boundaries involve setting limits on which personal possessions you will share and with whom.
Healthy time boundaries set aside enough time for each facet of your life to maintain a comfortable balance.
Personal boundaries should always lead to a better, closer relationship. If you set boundaries that are too strict or rigid, you run the risk of shutting down communication and intimacy. Every person’s boundaries are different. Knowing your personal boundaries will allow you to establish your values, beliefs and self-worth entering into any relationship.
One last word of advice, consider the long view. Some days you will give more than you take, and other days you will take more than you give. Be willing to take a longer view of the relationship (www.therapistaid.com). And, don’t forget your sense of humor!
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Sources:
Real Essentials
The Center for Relationship Education, 2016
Where You End and I Begin by Anne Katherine
I’m Pregnant, Who Should I Tell? Navigating Hard Conversations With Your Partner, Family, or Friends
